Ill admit it, im afraid to have three kids.

Actually its more then that.

Every time ive had a baby, ive brought it home to my moms. Where she, my stepfather, my husband, and sister have been around to help. made it easy for Brennan, everyone wanted to hold him. All i had to do was feed him for the first week lol.

Conner was born, and again, i went to my moms house. Everyone was just as excited. Putting him down for naps, helping me deal with his colic and crying for 10 + hours every day.  He was about 4 months old before i moved away.

This baby… There is no backup. There will be no one. Tony is in one of the busiest times for his work in August. In fact they were talking of sleeping on the jobsite as its 45 minutes one way. But with as quick as my last labor was… 45 minutes to get here and 20 minutes to get to the hospital might not be enough time… As it is… i could easily go into labor while he is AT Work and still have to wait on him, at least i can always call my mom for backup during the day. Ill have to probably anyways, to watch B and C while im in the hospital.

But no, even with the complications of this babys positioning. Im not afraid top give birth. The looming possiblity of a c section scares the hell outta me. * chant with me, turn baby turn!!!* But its the time when i come home. When i have a super clingy 2 year old. With my often times grumpy and very energy consuming 5 year old. And a newborn who will need to be nursed and changed every 2 hours.

That thought scares me. Having no help with 3 babies scares me. Tony has to go back to work. Part of the deal of working for yourself means that you have to meet your deadlines. Not meeting your deadlines can mean bad buisness. We dont want that.

And i want 4 kids in the end lol… I can only imagine how scarry it will be if i do have a 4th later on down the line…

We will see. Im sure ill cope just fine, im remarkable adaptable to what is going on and do my best not to give in to any situation. But i might need a week or two lol. Im sure it will be fine, but im also just as sure im going to spend the next 3ish months worried about how thigns are going to go come August when i have three little guys at home.


One thought on “Fears

  1. You WILL be absolutely fine. I promise!
    I was terrified about the transition from two to three, and it was no-where near as tough as I imagined.

    As for turning – have you been on the spinning babies website? I can’t remember the name, but if you type spinning babies into google you should find it. George turned from completely breech to head down at 37 weeks, and was born at 37 + 6. I promise there is still time – particularly when you’ve had one baby already.
    I know how scary the possibility of c-sec is, particularly when you’ve had two natural deliveries.

    I know you’ll be fine honey. xxxx

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