Faith Funk

Well i know ive mentioned a time or two about meeting with the Missionaries. Did i ever say exactly that they are Mormon? I cant remember. I know that there are other religious missionaries out there…

But im running into a problem. Actually several. There are alot of rules, most of them are second nature for me anyway. But some are a bit harder…

I cant tithe. I dont make any money personally. So i cant take from my husbands money. That is the money he earns. I dont get an allowance, if i make anything online, i spend that on myself. Otherwise my husband buys things for me. But to me, its still his money. I cant take that without his permission. You all might not understand that but we have an…” old fashioned” relationship i guess would be the word. In a way  we fall very much into the Mormon faith in that aspect. The man is the man of his house.

The Sunday Fasting, Once a month you are asked to Fast and then contribute the money you would have spent on meals to the Church. Again with not controling the money, and i dont know if i could really go 2 meals without food or drink.. including water.

Here is the big one. I cant go to church every sunday. In fact i might only be able to go once a month. I couldent go last week because i was super sick and wasnt up to it. Today Tony is going to work. My baptism is set for next Sunday and i dont know how i feel about not being able to go. I start feeling guilty and bad about it. I dont know what to do. Its not raining at the moment but its only about 45 degrees out there and its 2 miles walk to the church. Which isnt bad, its in the middle of Town, near the schools. But even so. It would take me 2 hours to get there with the kids. Tony wont push back work untill noon to go to sacrament. And i feel just guilty as hell, for not going, and for calling the family who has been helping us through this for a ride. They have kids of their own….

I dont know what to do. I feel terrible. I dont know if i can really do this, if im ready for this.

Tony dosent want to. He is going for my sake. But i cant make him go every Sunday.. And i cant make him stay for the whole thing. I feel comfortable there, but maybe i need to keep my faith at home and just go when I can? But is it right to be baptized knowing i cant be involved full time? See thats wherei start feeling guilty. I cant do it full time. Its not the 3 hours a week that is asked. Its my husband.

I wish i could go to Church and talk with someone about this. I could call for a ride but i dont have Conners carseat…. So that wouldent work too. I guess im just going to have to feel guilty…. Well i need to get going, the kids are clamoring for cheese….


One thought on “Faith Funk

  1. i dont have a chance to respond right now… but just know that the “advisary” as they say puts up tons of road blocks for you… before your baptism. I am baptised and do not tithe due to not have ANY cash… and I have not been to church in 9+ months due to being prego and not being able to handle my kids during sacrament. Dont give up, if you feel its right… then go with it, the rest will fall into place.

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