Im the first to admit, i spent many many years trying not to have faith. Not believe in anything mainstream. After all why would God let so many bad things happen.
The Missionaries answered that question for me finally.
He told me that its about free will. God gave every man woman and child free will. If He stopped the bad things from happening, He would be interviening in Free Will….
I took it a step past that and made some realizations. That when a person is without faith, faith about anything. Then they are truely lost. A person has no bearings on direction. They dont believe in ANYTHING because they cant believe in SOMETHING.
Im not saying one has to believe in God to know Faith. Because that simply isnt true. But for me.
Having Faith is something i lost sight on. So many bad things happened in my past. But so many good things….
For the past couple weeks, talking with the Elders, Learning about the church, ive made some realizations. That you have to have Faith. In SOMETHING, in ANYTHING, because if you dont, then nothing really matters. You are going to wander blindly down a path, wondering which way to go in your life.
So as i scrubbed out my sink after dishes, smelling the freshly baked bread and feeling rather dejected about the very stressful situation my family has been in this past few weeks… I had a moment, when i just KNEW, that I am Loved, That i am Watched, and that everything WILL be allright.
I think in that moment, when the truth of Faith REALLY hit me. Faith is what keeps us going. If you cannot believe in Him, then you can have Faith that someone is really there. Even if that someone isnt a person.
So Tony and I had some really bad moments this past week. Moments where I didnt think our marrage would make it. But I have Faith. That things WILL be allright…
An hour later guess what happened.
Its like a sign.
Tony gets a call from Mike. The “maybe” job that is going to earn him 6 thousand dollars…. Well the start it in 2 weeks. They have a bathroom to finish by thursday, Friday through Sunday ( im going to walk to church if i have to, its only 3 miles) they are doing log siding on a house. Monday and tuesday they are doing soffits on the first cabin they did ( remember the one they were working on before, where they stayed a week) Wensday they start that Addition. Do you even understand HOW much money that is? I dont even have a figure right now. But it is a great deal. Plus there are several other smaller side jobs that have to be done soon. All of this needs to be done before the snow flies. Mid October.
Then Dividends were supposed to come in October second. Now its looking like the middle of September we will be getting that $12000 ( ish)
That my loves, Is faith. And you can argue against it. You can agree. But to me That is faith.
Tony might not be convinced. BUT It all started happeneing when we started praying, started meeting with the Elders, and all the really fantastic stuff. Happens the DAY AFTER we go to Church.
THAT tells me something.