Babysitting Woes

I agreed to watch two of my neighbors kids for her 4 hours ago! She said she would be back in an hour, two max, she called me 2 hours ago and said she would be a few minutes more. The kids are going crazy, getting into everything. Making huge messes and generally driving me insane. At this point, I need something cold to drink, a nice quite few minutes to sit calmly by myself without my OWN kids bugging me, much less another 4 year old and a 3 year old.

Frankly im going insane. I dont mind watching kids for an hour or two. But 4 hours and still going is too damn much for me. I cant do thease kids for this long! Its too much for my poor brain to take in!

Jobs

Do I want to get a job?

I really dont know. At times I do actually want to work. Then i think of my little boys and how much I missed out on Brennan when I was working when he was Conner’s age. I missed out on so many new words and things. It was hard. But i enjoyed working.

I do enjoy working from time to time. I would have to cut back on nursing the baby, hes almost one anyway. I would have to pre arrange child care with my family as well as rides. For what, $1,200 a month? Is it worth it in the end? I dont know.

I dont HAVE to work. My husband makes decent enough money when he is working, which he is. Enough for us to live off of easily. Plus some little gives in the budget make it easy to live off of. He will soon be getting a raise and then life will truely be easy. I can stay home with my kids without worries. Gives them time to play, learn and grow all while keeping them in a child-care situation that I agree with. My own.

Besides, Brennan has made friends with William, the neighbors 4 year old. They are like best buds with Williams little sister, Arielle, trailing after them ( which is totally adorable, you can see it happening in 10-12 years hehe)

Cats are strange creatures. Ignoring the watering dish, Snickers and Banshee both are lapping up water from a plant i accidentilly over watered. Its quite funny to see them both crouched on my window sill, lapping at a small 6 inch pot of pansies. They sure are amusing.

When i got the boys, i became apperent that snickers was the dominant brother and Banshee was the more timid of the two. However that aggressive behavior landed Snickers tied up in a glue fly trap which involved a huge bath, sissors and a tramatized cat that took nearly a week to come around to see humans again. I would leave food out for him but never saw him! In that time, Banshee became my best friend and shadow. And he got his name hehe. He follows me everywhere wailing, softly, yet still wailing. Every time i sat down to nurse the baby, he was on top of me, nuzzling, sucking on my teeshirts and soaking up the love.

I saw another side of this timid little boy then. Following me into the bathtub even, he would sit on the edge and lick the water that came too close, he never got wet, but it was adorable. Once Snickers came out and about again, i noticed he had a terrible knot on his ear. Picking at it, i found my boys had earmites too. So yesterday i got them all cleaned out. And now Snickers is again, afraid of people. The poor cat. He is so timid now. I just hope he will come out of his shell and be the same happy boy he was when i first got him.

All in all, the brothers are great little cats to have. Super friendly for the most part. A bit on the timid side, but great with my kids. Im really happy that i took them in.

Snickers is in the back with the purple collar, and Banshee is in the front with the pink collar ( their previous owners thought they were female and got them girly collars, i just havent replaced them yet.)

WW

Home and Work

Its so very nice to have my husband back at work today. I mean really, its so nice to have my house my own, to be able to not trip on him, to be able to clean my house and get things done without him sitting there watching me. Gets on ones nerves, especially for 2 months!

Anyway today, the kids and I are outside. Its a pretty nice day. Sunburn kind of weather hehe. So out we go, and have a good day!

Home

We are now talking about building a house. My mother in law has a good sized chunk of property and there is an area out there that would be nice for us to build a house on. It would be rent free ( half of the property taxes each year which is 600 dollars) and we would always have home security.

This means that we have untill october to get the sonotubing in the ground, save up money, and build a blueprint. Then come October, we have the whole month to get the entire house build including the inside finished so that we can live.

The downside, no running water or plumbing of our own. But the main house would be right there in which we can get and store containers of water for cooking and eating. We can use the washer and dryer and the showers in the house untill next summer when we would punch in our own well.

Believe mei know well the problems of living without plumbing. I did it when Brennan was a baby, and he used bottles. It would mean only have a bathroom that you can pee in, and only in emergencies, having to truck through to the main house in the winter when it can easily reach 40 below zero. Not being able to wash clothes, dishes and take a bath when you want to. It means knocking to go into the main house to use the toilet. Waiting and sharing to do laundry ect. Yeah it does have its drawbacks, BUT it has some pluses too.

No rent, or cost of living other then our utilities such as phone, internet and cable/satalite. It means customizing our house and all the money Tony earns through the winter can go to decorating our house, making it better, saving it for summer and plants to add on to it. It means having a SAFE area for my kids to play including a yard. It means having my own gardens, a swingset for the kids. It means always having a home.

Sure in the begining it would be hard. We have no credit cards so we cant go and use them to buy everything. I doubt we can get a loan through our bank to make it, so we have to pay out of pocket for everything and it needs to be nearly finished for us to move in. From framing, to electrical, plumbing needs to be put in even if we dont have a well, septic, even if the toilet dosent work. floors, walls, everything has to be done. Its a crunch thing. Tony would still be working at that time so he has to build this all after he puts in 12 hour days at his construction site.

But it means MY OWN HOME!

And i can share 2.5 acers with my inlaws! There is plenty of space to hide in lol.

Anyway its great news for us!

LP Photography

My photo blog has been updated HERE with some nature photographs that I took this weekend. More will be coming soon including some portraits of my almost 1 year old son.

Birthdays

My baby is going to be one in a bit over 2 weeks…. It makes me want to cry. Im so sad to see the last little bit of babyhood dissapear. He has teeth, hair, walks, even says a few words here and there. And his first birthday will come and go soon. My babies are growing up. A year and 4 years… Time passes so quickly by that im left wondering what happened as i stand in the dust of their ever changing presence in my life.

Soon my babies wont be babies in any way. Brennan will be starting school soon. And then he will be a child, growing, changing, learning. And ill loose that much more of him. I know its natural to want to stop time and keep your babies little forever. Just as i know there is no way that it could happen. I suppose in the end, you just wish that you can keep them small forever.

I dont remember how small Brennan was as a baby, it was 4 years ago. I have the pictures. Its all i have left of the babyhood he outgrew. And someday, thats all ill have of conners babyhood too. Photographs and faded memories.

Sigh.

I want them to stay small forever.

Hair

I have a huge thing for long hair. Ive always loved it when my hair was long. When i was really young and again when i was in High School. Now its down to the middle of my back, a huge improvement from a year ago when it was bearly past my shoulders.

I havent dyed it in over a year. Im attempting to take good care of it by not doing much that is unhealthy or unnatural. Like dying, blow drying, curling with a hot iron and use shampoos and conditioners that hurt rather then help hair.

In the end i think its going really well. Ive been growing for a year now and i really thing its making a difference. I hope to get it at least to my hips, i would be happy if it gets longer. My husband sometimes wants me to cut it. I can understand, he has to sleep next to me and sometimes i swear my hair has a mind of its own, it tries to suffocate him, but i usually try and keep it back at night. In any event. Here is how long it is now. I cant wait for it to get longer!

he caught me turning around lol.

If you want to see some of my crazy styles. Click here to see my hair thing album.
Just so you know. I really like my long hair hehe.

Computer Troubles.

You would think, having a computer geek for a husband, that i wouldent have computer troubles. OH no, that isnt the case. When his friend comes over its battle of the techno geeks. One does one thing, the other wants to counteract the changes, and in the end the computer screams help me, help me.

Last night the friend did something because our DVD rom wasnt working. IT turned itno 4 hours on the computer saying this is messed up this is messed up. In the end, the computer randomly crashes, the cd-rom no longer works, and im pissed off.

My husband has been trying to counteract whatever was done to “fix” our computer which was running perfectly to begin with. So sigh. Its very frustrating me.

Next time battle of the techno geeks starts, they need to use someone elses computer! NOT MINE!